tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-77866256132062496922024-02-07T00:57:50.737-08:00Fermented BlogDJ Mike Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00370211597248586221noreply@blogger.comBlogger78125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7786625613206249692.post-84540124948091001352013-05-02T23:32:00.001-07:002013-05-02T23:37:18.707-07:00A True Story Part 1TRUE STORY:
Recent exchange at a wedding I DJd:<br />
Person: Do you have any Marvin Gaye?<br />
Me: Wha? Ben-Gay?<br />
Person: NO, do you have any MARVIN GAYE?<br />
Me: Hold on, I can't hear you, let my turn down this Hoobastank.<br />
Person: Yeah, I was wondering, could you play some Marvin Gaye?<br />
Me: Wellllll, was he in Hoobastank?<br />
Person: What?<br />
Me: I'm pretty sure I have some of his stuff.<br />
Person: Cool, like maybe “Let's Get It On”?<br />
Me: Nahhhh, I don't have that one.<br />
Person: Damn. How about “Got to Give It Up”?<br />
Me: Nahhhhhhhhhh. I only have the stuff he did with Hoobastank.<br />
Person: What the hell are you talking about?<br />
Me: I pretty much only have Hoobastank. The person that hired me said they wanted music. If this “Gaye” guy you're talking about was in Hoobastank, I can hook you up. Beyond that, sorry, can't help you.<br />
(Long silence)....<br />
Person: Well, dammit. Do have any Reel Big Fish, at least?<br />
Me: I might have a tape in my car. Can you man the reel to reel while I go and look for it?<br />
Person: Hell yeah, man, if if means I get to break up this Hoobastank party with some Reel Big Fish, I'm down. What this party needs is some REEL BIG FISH!<br />
Me: Totally, thanks, dude. I'll be back in a minute with this killer Reel Big Fish tape. I also have a nitrous tank in the car if you want a balloon.<br />
Person: Sick, I'm sposed to get married in like 2 minutes... but screw it, lets go check out a fat balloon. Forget this lame party, lets just listen to that Reel Big Fish tape in your car. Are you into disc golf?<br />
Me: Hells yeah, brah.<br />
THE END... OR IS IT?<br />
Coming Summer 13: Me and Person's Disc Golf Adventures: Volume 1: Checkmate<br />
Coming Summer 15: Me and Person's Disc Golf Adventures: Volume 2: EndgameDJ Mike Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00370211597248586221noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7786625613206249692.post-49988910150916392212011-01-10T09:59:00.000-08:002011-01-10T11:56:10.625-08:00A Million Dollar Opportunity: Invest in The Next Step in Social Networking: FAXTER<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhp83p4Sv26El9EPlqaAtVagseJcDEGMRS2yYBGZEwmgF4NzOtg4SCSFHZONTrkckWoVnOcrSSM-UNdRMExANuw8QOg-lShVreUvqYzUphh2KWpVOlO3NoS1MJwptfbx95evrMkma2lxEq9/s1600/ftp_faxmach1.gif"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 144px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhp83p4Sv26El9EPlqaAtVagseJcDEGMRS2yYBGZEwmgF4NzOtg4SCSFHZONTrkckWoVnOcrSSM-UNdRMExANuw8QOg-lShVreUvqYzUphh2KWpVOlO3NoS1MJwptfbx95evrMkma2lxEq9/s200/ftp_faxmach1.gif" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5560619109024760050" /></a><br /> <br />By Michael Gibbons<br /><br />With the recent success of internet, online, e-friend communities like Friendster and the <a href="http://community.wizards.com/">Wizards Community</a>, I have devised the next level of e-friendship. I call it Faxter. In the ever-changing world of computers, many people are left out in the cold. One minute it is "Ya gotta buy Windows 98" and the next its "Jeez, you haven't seen Snow Leopard yet?" Over the past 15 years, computers have risen in prominence while constantly changing and reinventing the wheel, so to speak. What is one constant throughout this revolutionary process? The fax machine. Fax machines are forever. No worrying about cards, mouse pads, mice, the fax machine you bought in 1995 is just as important and relevant as the day it was when you bought it from Tweeter (for times like these.) <br />With funding from <a href="http://www.brother-usa.com/fax/">The Brother company</a> and Circuit City, I have devised a brilliant new system for e-fax users to stay in touch. I call it Faxter. For fax machine owners to register, they fax me their information. I add their stats to the Faxter users registry, which will be in the form of several hundred thousand 3-Ring binders, which will be more or less in alphabetical order here at the Faxter headquarters, located in an abandoned airplane hangar in Las Cruces, New Mexico. (I am using future tense, as the company hasn't launched yet, as several million dollars in startup costs will be needed.) Name, height, weight, fax number and a black and white head shot are required on this initial document, as is your signature and a witness signature. <br />Once your information is filed away in the right binder (example, if your name is "Bill Washington", I would file you in binder W-FRID1- 146. Translation: W- your last initial, FRID1 - Faxter Registry Information Document 1, and binder number 146. That binder number is number 146 for the letter 'W'! An example of how huge our usership will be.)<br />Now comes the fun part! Every other Faxter user is alerted every time a new person joins our community! So, if there were say, 200 million members, I would send out 200 million faxes with your information! This way, old friends can find you, and new friends who you haven't met yet can contact you about being your faxters! Pardon the slang, but "faxters" are the names of people who use Faxter. <br />Due to the large amount of administrative work I will have to oversee here in the hangar, a membership fee of $89.99 will be required. But, here's where it gets fun. For an extra fee of $29.99, you can list your interest, sexual preference, work and school info and even extra black and white photos to your initial fax! For each additional interest, there will be a $4.99 processing fee. This way, for example, if you are a man who likes women and is single, and you list yourself as being into pizza pie, a single woman who likes men and pizza pie will be contacted, via fax. As you can imagine, the huge amount of paperwork and cross referencing that will be required makes the fee of $29.99 quite a bargain. You might meet the love of your life! <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIcBZWLVeivV7NwkWoS4Kh4lTKZ-Z-QXN5SUZr3H5kyTFF6nTXZON8OowjWIbD9vZcfwB0Nl7snI6985Tzil5fp71earHGSeLNn2CiBjqJO3KfD-vl5S6zuwV9-K7aOCdDhVwyhBBTZOOC/s1600/goal5.gif"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 84px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIcBZWLVeivV7NwkWoS4Kh4lTKZ-Z-QXN5SUZr3H5kyTFF6nTXZON8OowjWIbD9vZcfwB0Nl7snI6985Tzil5fp71earHGSeLNn2CiBjqJO3KfD-vl5S6zuwV9-K7aOCdDhVwyhBBTZOOC/s200/goal5.gif" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5560632209214818930" /></a><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Artist's rendition of me collating Faxter data.</span><br /><br />Now, here's where it gets fun. Its recommended for each Faxter user to dedicate a wall of their home to be their Faxter wall. The ideal set-up for your Faxter wall would have a large cork bulletin board to which you can thumbtack manilla envelopes containing information about your 'faxters'! Just write the name of each fax-friend on the envelope, or, you could make a copy of their black and white head shot and attach it to the front of the envelope using glue or my preferred method, Scotch tape. Every time a faxter updates their info, you will recieve a fax. Then you simply add that fax to that person's manilla envelope.<br /> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEid8q35WhPlCIeYHvoktHJ46ACdTLYpNK3ZMiKnSEeSTSLx_9KS_LXXWi_8sHfZy9jhSm9aHvencNqhvqw-FeaveT9wr9k_lGqOqfToh-Vyq2nCQDvttleJhcqhIuthlUUGqrQ8BIJR1sXm/s1600/Friend_clip_art.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 154px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEid8q35WhPlCIeYHvoktHJ46ACdTLYpNK3ZMiKnSEeSTSLx_9KS_LXXWi_8sHfZy9jhSm9aHvencNqhvqw-FeaveT9wr9k_lGqOqfToh-Vyq2nCQDvttleJhcqhIuthlUUGqrQ8BIJR1sXm/s200/Friend_clip_art.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5560631500921792850" /></a>Another great part of being part of the Faxter e-fax community is the great deal notification faxes you will receive. Say, for example, you list one of your interests as 'Pizza Pie', your information will be passed on to our marketing department, who notify all the fax-ready pizza parlors in your area, so that they can fax you when they have meal deals and the like. <br />One great thing about Faxter is that anyone can use it. You don't need a computer, and you don't even need a fax machine. Does your uncle have one? You can use his. Or just go to Staples or the local library or a Radio Shack and use their fax machines to fax your faxters and keep your status updated. <br />If the entire internet was destroyed by some catastrophe or super-virus, Faxter would still be operational, so its a great idea moving forward in these troubled times. If for whatever reason, you wish to cancel your Faxter account, your information will be shredded and burned in our industrial processing center located in Gary, Indiana. <br />The Brother company and Circuit City have helped fund my research, but much startup money is still needed. Invest in Faxter today and be part of the next level of E-friendship! For a nominal fee of $19.99, I will send all prospective investors a 50 page overview of the business, via fax. <br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Michael Gibbons' Fax number is available on request for prospective investors.</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiOplCQWuPR8OaytZXs6Mu6FvZl1BCvnXTqb-q23DdHo4V7g9UcExKE0lAuU3oRFRCvOvZnaFWofb5n4M0obKP9KuX6k4HpLGhLEfKjr9gIGqKLCc69xeE6IAZr8tAPeF6gVQNbtqtsdnc/s1600/faxter1"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 192px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiOplCQWuPR8OaytZXs6Mu6FvZl1BCvnXTqb-q23DdHo4V7g9UcExKE0lAuU3oRFRCvOvZnaFWofb5n4M0obKP9KuX6k4HpLGhLEfKjr9gIGqKLCc69xeE6IAZr8tAPeF6gVQNbtqtsdnc/s200/faxter1" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5560636079152775362" /></a>DJ Mike Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00370211597248586221noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7786625613206249692.post-52326739585326746852010-10-31T16:37:00.000-07:002010-10-31T19:27:15.973-07:00Short Fiction: BOG<span style="font-style:italic;">[Here's a short story I wrote for Halloween. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! If you are walking by a cranberry bog at night and you hear something strange... run.]</span> <br /><br />BOG <br />By Michael Gibbons<br /><br /> Andy didn't want to be out in the woods so early. He didn't want to be in the woods at all. It was still dark out, around 4 a.m. on a crisp October morning. The sky was clear of clouds, the air was dry. His breath wafted up into the still morning air like he was an industrial smokestack, up like smog towards the brilliant ceiling of stars and out of sight. He felt out of place in the pre-dawn stillness, an interloper in a strange and foreign natural world. In these woods, however, the time to jack a deer was early in the morning. It wasn't yet shotgun season, but seasons and licenses meant little to Andy. He had to kill something large as soon as possible or... <br /> <span style="font-style:italic;">Or what?</span> He thought. The old lady, if the wrinkled thing in the rags was in fact female, had told him that he absolutely HAD to kill something big and fresh. His life depended on it. More than his life, she had said, he guessed she meant his soul. He had never really been religious, he went to church because it made his mom happy and he basically stopped going once the alcohol and weed kicked in around his Junior year of high school. He never had reason to believe in such things as souls and spirits and God and The Devil, but that was before it happened. <br /> Before it happened. His entire perception of the world and his place in it, everything from the big guy in the sky down to the dirt below his feet was altered after the events of last Saturday night. What he had seen with his own eyes made his worst collegiate acid trips look like a G-Rated family film. He almost wished he had been on drugs so that he could chalk what he saw up to them. He had been a little tipsy beforehand, but as soon as he saw the Blue Man emerge out of the mist in the cranberry bog, he was rendered sober. <br /> <span style="font-style:italic;">The Blue Man</span>, he thought. The name had already taken on the air of a legend in his mind. Capital letters. Big, Important. The mere thought of what he had seen had driven him into a quagmire of fear and anxiety, and ever since that night, he thought of it constantly. He hadn't been doing much sleeping since last Saturday night. His immediate reaction to this trauma was to drink enough whiskey to drown a horse. For all those country songs about drinking to forget and dull the pain, Andy found it didn't work. Even in a besotted state, his mind played the scene over and over like some perverted highlight reel. Like ESPN Sporscenter in the 9th ring of Hell. <br /> <span style="font-style:italic;">Thick mist down in the bog. Andy walking back from the bar, marvelling at how creepy it looked in the moonlight, like something from an old horror movie. Then, the sounds. Gasping. Grunting. Water splashing. He thought maybe it was a deer in rut acting crazy out there. He didn't hear yips and barks, so he ruled out coyotes. He had to see what was making this noise. He creeped down the embankment a bit, hoping that he wasn't making enough noise to alert whatever was out there to his presence. The sounds changed then, the sound of heavy footsteps sloshing through the bog. Towards him. Whatever was out there had two feet. That's when he started to get scared. He ran back up the embankment and looked down. The vague shape of a man, only it wasn't quite right. Drooped over, with long arms swaying by its sides. With each approaching step it became a little bit clearer. More nightmare details to behold. He could tell that it wasn't an ordinary person. He knew that even before it had fully broken through the mist. It had to be at least seven feet tall, even in its drooped over state. Its skin was a shade of grayish blue. Its eyes, those were the worst part of it. It looked right at him and its eyes burned through him, heavy lidded obsidian orbs that twinkled in the moonlight. That's when he screamed. He ran as fast as he could in the direction of his house. He could hear other voices out in the bog, yelling in some bizarre foreign tongue, in cracked, gravelly voices. Their voices seemed to bounce around the inside of his head. No matter how far he ran, they were just as loud. He lost his mind right then...</span><br /> That's the funny thing about losing your mind, Andy thought later. If you've never lost it, you never know what its like. The comforting blanket of reality that we keep ourselves comfy in ripped away in a second. There was a literal feeling of falling, like the floor below him had given out. The forest became an infinite carnival funhouse, with horrors of unimaginable pain tucked in every shadow. He ran, and screamed until his lungs burned and his eyes shed tears. He didn't feel the pain, however. He was in the cradling arms of extreme shock. His mind still echoed with the voices in that unfamiliar language. Beyond the indescribable nature of the words, the voices themselves did not sound human. They sounded older and stranger than any person he'd ever heard. They sounded mad, too. He got to his house, locked the doors and windows, loaded his shotgun with slugs and proceeded to sit in the dark in the second floor bathroom, which provided the best view of the woods and drank whiskey while staring out the window. He sat there all night, and was only able to get about an hour of sleep once the sun came out the next day. Even in his drunken stupor, he could not relax enough to sleep until the sun was shining. He knew somehow, that whatever The Blue Man was, and whatever was shouting out in the bog, would not come out in the sunshine. Somebody else would have seen it by now, he reckoned. <br /> His life in the ensuing week took a painfully predictable plunge into hell. He couldn't sleep, so he drank. He couldn't go to work drunk, so he was fired. His ex-wife and his two children wondered what had happened to him. She informed him to stop calling her after about the 200th drunken phone call. She threatened to go to the police. She was scared of him already. The marriage had ended badly, he had slapped her and swore at her as she left with the kids to stay at Jeff's house, the man she had been cheating on him with. Andy had a booze problem, and an anger problem. Jeff was a laid back artist, the decision was clear. The kids had been sad, they loved their father, at ages 4 and 6, they were a little too young to have such low opinions of him as their mother did. So when he started calling her, leaving frantic voicemails at 4 a.m. about voices in his head and things he saw in the bog, she was justifiably terrified. He had gone off the deep end. She felt sorry for the children. They might not see their father for a long time. <br /> The worst part of it for him, more than losing his job, his family and his sanity, were the voices. They rattled around in his head all day and night. He blasted music, but they were still there. Even heavy metal couldn't dislodge them. The neighbors were scared, as he looked just as out of control as he was. The cops were called after one drunken night where he had started screaming and breaking things in the house. It was the voices. They made him very mad. The cop that arrived was an old acquantance of Andy's. They had gone to school together. So he went easy on Andy, figuring that it must be living alone in his house and shelling out tons of money in alimony and child support that was driving him to such behavior. That and the fact that he was visibly intoxicated. So he told Andy to drink some water, get some rest and quite down. The cop, Jim Nickerson, was frightened by what he saw in Andy's eyes. He wouldn't be surprised if he had to come out here some night and help clean up Andy's brains after the poor bastard blew them out of his own head. <br /> Around the 7th day of Andy's self-imposed exile and ever strengthening insanity, the old woman arrived at his doorstep. A hunched over thing, dressed in rags, holding itself up with a cane. He peered through the window at it, unable to decide whether to answer the rapping of its cane on the door, or tell it to get lost or to simply hide and pretend that it wasn't there. What the hell, things can't get much worse, he thought as he opened the door. <br /> One milky cataract covered eye glared up at him, and even though it looked blind, he could tell that it was looking at him. <br />"You need my help," the rag covered thing said in a ragged, dry whisper. <br />"Uh, excuse me?" He asked. <br />"I know that you saw them. I can hear their voices in your head." <br />Andy's face cracked, and his eyes welled up with tears. <br />"Come in," he said. <br />The rag thing shambled into his kitchen and sat at the table. Andy poured himself a bourbon, neat, and offered some to it. It obliged and revealed its mouth full of rotten, yellow teeth when it took its first sip. <br />"I know things. I see things. Not everyone can see me. I have been a part of this town for longer than most people here have been alive. I know about the bog, and about the Kraggs." <br />"Who are the Kraggs? Are those the.... things I saw?" He asked the question like it pained him. <br />"No, the things you saw, those things have no name. The Kraggs worship them. The Kraggs are all dead in a sense, but they worship those things still. They are held by a pact stronger than life and death. Nobody but the Kraggs is allowed to see those things from the bog. You are dead, already." <br />"What the hell do you mean? I'm talking to you, aren't I?" <br />"Yes, but they have talked to you. The white man was never meant to hear them. They are talking to you right now, I can hear them in your head. They will drive you to your death. It is far worse than a spell, you would never be able to fathom such a thing." <br />"So, you show up to tell me that these voices of these things with no name will make me kill myself, eh?" His voice rose and slammed his fist as hard as he could into the table, making their whiskey glasses jump.<br />"TELL ME SOMETHING I DON'T KNOW! I've wanted to blow my brains out ever since these VOICES got inside my head! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?!"<br />It was silent for a moment as it watched Andy stare at the table, his whole body moving up and down with the rhythm of his quick breaths. His eyes burned with pain and were bright red and glossed over. <br />"There is only one way to reverse this curse. I am not sure that it will work, but it is the only chance you have. First, you must kill something large. A deer might work..." <br />Then it told him all the strange and foreign words he was supposed to say, words that sounded oddly familiar to him, where to put the entrails and where to sprinkle the blood and what to do with the heart. He couldn't believe what he was hearing, but he knew that this was his last chance. If he had to go one more day with the damn voices bouncing around in his head, he would end his life. After the thing finished with its speech, he went to get the bottle of whiskey. When he returned to the kitchen, the thing was gone. <br /> He stayed up all night studying his notes, preparing for what he had to do. And here he was, out in the woods, trying to find a nice big deer. He thought for a second about the insane blind corner his life had taken. One minute you're walking home from the bar with a 5 beer buzz, thinking about the hot British woman you had been talking to over your Sam Adams, feeling like an idiot for not getting her number, and the next you are running screaming from seeing something that simply couldn't and shouldn't exist, your head full of voices that belonged not on this planet, let alone in the confines of your skull. It was like getting the floor pulled out from under you, falling into an abyss of madness and confusion. <br /> And there it was. Silent as a ghost, a large 6 point buck seemed to appear in a small clearing not even 30 feet from where he stood. It looked around, snorted, and seemed completely and totally comfortable with itself and its domain. Andy silently offered a prayer of thanks to the deer, raised his shotgun and aimed. The strange and foreign voices in his head seemed to raise in volume and become more excited. As if they could tell that he was about to kill something. His head felt like it was going to explode. His eyes watered and he tried not to cry out in pain. He bit his tongue and pulled the trigger. Time seemed to stop as the voices crescendoed into a wave of evil noise in his head. The buck's eye exploded as the 12 gauge slug tore through its head, spraying brains, blood, eyes and bone fragments for ten feet into the forest. It immediately fell, as did Andy. The voices then faded to a whisper, and even though he could not understand the words, he knew they were commanding him. His conscious thought stopped as he rose up like a marionette puppet, jerky and stiff. He stumbled through the brush, not pushing branches and prickers out of his way. He had cuts all over his face by the time he reached the deer. <br /> His eyes were glazed over as he reached to his waistline and pulled his knife from its scabbard. He held the knife above his head for a moment, then bent down and thrust the knife into the deers belly, ripping downward, towards its crotch. Foul smelling gases rose from the deer, and it made an obscene farting sound as a revolting mixture of food remnants, stomach acids and black blood poured from the jagged incision. Specks of blood spattered Andy's face as he worked, but his expression remained neutral. He pulled the intestines out and they lay steaming in a coil at his feet. He cut out the heart, held it in front of his face for a moment. The voices sounded very excited. He scooped up the entrails and walked toward the bog, leaving the carcass and his shotgun behind. <br /> He walked down the embankment, the entrails dragging behind him through the brush. At one point a coil of intestine snagged itself on a small pine tree sapling. Andy still shuffling ahead, looking very much like a zombie, what with the glazed over eyes, slack expression and gore soaked face. He almost fell as the intestine pulled back on his arm. He grunted and tugged on the rope of intestine until it came free, then continued his perverse morning stroll to the bog. <br /> He stepped into the foot high water and started arranging the intestines atop the cranberry bushes. Once he was finished, he had a circle of about 6 foot circumference made out of the bloody entrails. He stepped into the circle, held the heart above his face and looked toward the sky. Blood dripped from the heart onto his face as he began to chant in a voice that sounded disembodied and nothing like his own. The words were in the same tongue of the voices in his head. But now, it seemed, that those voices had become his voice. <br /> As the blood dripped into his face, he didn't flinch. Great streams of it covered his face as he began squeezing the heart. The incantations began to rise in volume and urgency. A thick fog rose from the bog with incredible speed, billowing and filling the area within seconds. As he continued to shout, or rather, as the voices continued to shout, figures began to approach Andy and his circle from all different directions. The voices finished their bizarre chant and Andy lowered the heart to his mouth, which opened and proceeded to bite into the tissue. Black arterial blood poured down his throat and overflowed from his lips and down his neck. And there it was. The Blue Man. Standing right outside the circle. The voices in his head went silent as its bizarre, oversized eyes cored into Andy's, burning into his brain. It was as if the eyes bored into his consciousness and saw everything in his head. The thing's face remained expressionless, but its eyes glimmered with a hint of a smile. <br /> Andy's consciousness returned and the fear was all encompassing. But he found he could not cry out, he couldn't run, though every impulse in his body told him to flee. He was completely under the control of the Blue Man. It showed him things that were unimaginable, visions of suffering and desperation, evil images of men, women and children dying at its feet, and of other things that no mortal human being could even begin to comprehend. Visions of a void worse than hell, that extended for infinity. Andy began to shake and foam at the mouth, the foam red with deer blood. The things eyes glimmered with a hint of glee as it saw the extreme pain these visions gave Andy. Somehow it spoke to Andy in his mind with words not in human tongue. But Andy could understand. <br /> <span style="font-style:italic;">You will serve. You will join. You will never leave.</span> <br /> The other figures approached the circle, and they all were the same grayish blue color. They looked like they had been human once, natives of this soil from hundreds and thousands of years before. Their black eyes, also oversized and endless, gazed into him, through him. <br /> They all began to speak inside his head in their strange, soulless tongue. <br /> <span style="font-style:italic;">You will serve. You will join. You will never leave. </span> <br /> Andy's mind, which now occupied some small corner of his consciousness realized that this was what the voices had been saying all along, since the night he first saw the Blue Man. <br /> As he shook and gyrated in a frenzy, the old woman who had visited him appeared out of the mist. She cackled and pointed at him. He realized that he was damned, that somehow that woman was in league with these things. As he watched, she changed, her nose, brow and ears growing longer and distended. She became not an old woman, but an old thing, eyes aglow with shimmering yellow light. Her cackling became a roar as the circle of intestines began to glow with white light. <br /> The circle dropped out below Andy, and he stood in air, over a black tunnel that appeared endless and without walls. It was like a hole into another dimension, like someone had just bored through everything in creation with some cosmic drill. The things repeated their chant over and over. <br /> <span style="font-style:italic;">You will serve. You will join. You will never leave. </span><br /> Then Andy fell. He fell forever, his screams were soundless as air did not exist in his new home. Nor did time, gravity or light, but he still felt like he was falling. The hole into the world closed above him. The only thing that existed still was his soul, his mind was gone, as was vision and hearing. But in that endless blackness, the life that flowed through his veins existed, as did the knowledge that he was a servant, that his energy was feeding something foul and evil against his will. They had shown themselves to him and spoken to him for it was his fate to serve them. And his energy flowed through the Blue Man, and the Old Woman Thing and the Natives, which were members of a lost tribe named the Kraggs, as did the energy of thousands of other beings, all lost spirits serving an endless master, a force more powerful than death. <br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Orleans Man Missing<br />Andy MacGowan, an Orleans man who was recently fired from his job at Cape Cod Academy, has been reported missing. His estranged wife, Deborah Hill, told the Times that she has not heard from him for weeks, since he called her and complained to her of "hearing voices." The Orleans Police had been called to his residence on Child's Homestead Road several times recently for noise complaints from his neighbors. One neighbor, who wished to remain anonymous says, "He was getting really crazy. Breaking stuff in his house, drinking all the time, screaming and yelling. It was almost like he was speaking in tongues." <br />Police are asking for any tips leading to MacGowan's whereabouts and they have not ruled out suicide. <br />"Andy was a friend of mine, and he was a good guy, if somewhat troubled. If you are reading this, Andy, please contact us and let us know that you are okay so we can stop our search for you," says Officer Jim Nickerson. <br />MacGowan is 6 feet tall with dark brown hair and sometimes wears a goatee. If you think you have seen him or have any information on his location, please contact the Orleans Police at 508-555-0110.<br />-Cape Cod Times, October 31st, 2010. </span>DJ Mike Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00370211597248586221noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7786625613206249692.post-16174846754765431082010-10-11T17:30:00.001-07:002010-10-11T17:33:34.779-07:00The Godfather of Gore<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.omg-entertainment.nl/images/blood_feast.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 504px; height: 504px;" src="http://www.omg-entertainment.nl/images/blood_feast.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />Check out my article about all things Herschell Gordon Lewis over at cinespect: <a href="http://cinespect.com/the-godfather-of-gore-a-night-of-herschell-gordon-lewis-at-the-somerville-theater/">The Godfather of Gore. </a>DJ Mike Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00370211597248586221noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7786625613206249692.post-48912145114395120702010-10-04T09:19:00.000-07:002010-10-04T09:21:33.648-07:00The Most Dangerous Man in America: Daniel Ellsberg and the Pentagon PapersThis incredible documentary has its premiere tomorrow night at 9 p.m. on PBS, I highly recommend that you watch it! <a href="http://cinespect.com/taking-risks-achieving-historical-change/">Check out my review for cinespect.com</a>!!!DJ Mike Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00370211597248586221noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7786625613206249692.post-78927632887690862772010-08-24T09:45:00.000-07:002010-08-24T09:46:48.422-07:00Male Growth Hormone CinemaCheck out my review of 'The Expendables' over at cinespect.com:<br /><br /><br /><a href="http://cinespect.com/male-growth-hormone-cinema/">http://cinespect.com/male-growth-hormone-cinema/</a>DJ Mike Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00370211597248586221noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7786625613206249692.post-34851621117049222432010-06-03T17:01:00.001-07:002010-06-03T18:18:50.757-07:00Crispin Glover, Live and In Person, New York City, Memorial Day, 2010<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhloaAOV9I7POB7EMcIIIUbEdw4bkpDB2Ju45gIJ44gE298E7IDB9shjS_lZ9q1yI91Y0QaTPtmLjFzqe0pB0AHsnu-ay5GR5Ap5Emk_zARYbjLGAkLo_yw42Zf3YLixfp3JPrsh_PefwP/s1600/DSC01492.JPG"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 134px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhloaAOV9I7POB7EMcIIIUbEdw4bkpDB2Ju45gIJ44gE298E7IDB9shjS_lZ9q1yI91Y0QaTPtmLjFzqe0pB0AHsnu-ay5GR5Ap5Emk_zARYbjLGAkLo_yw42Zf3YLixfp3JPrsh_PefwP/s200/DSC01492.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5478718357845109218" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">This whole marquee was actually just for Crispin, he is now going by "The Father of My Children, The Human Centipede: Crispin Glover".</span><br /><br />My girlfriend and I love Crispin Glover. His nervous, awkward, bizarre charm always makes anything that he appears in more fun or more disturbing. From his brilliant, ultra-manic performance in "River's Edge" to his brilliant, ultra-manic dance moves in "Friday the 13th Part IV - The Final Chapter", to his legendary 1987 appearance on Late Night With David Letterman, the man is basically a human highlight real. He'll show up in a huge blockbuster like "Charlie's Angels" and make it way cooler just by smelling the Angel's hair (which we will talk about later.) Beyond his inspired work in movies, both major and indie, he is a truly subversive intellectual and some would even say deranged and/or brilliant artist. <br /><br />I'd heard about "What Is It?" for years. A crazed art film with a cast made completely of people with developmental disabilities and Crispin. I didn't know how I felt about it. I respected Glover for making movies that nobody else would ever make in Hollywood (or elsewhere, for that matter), but I also wasn't too sure about his approach. If it was exploitative of the actor's conditions, I couldn't support it. If it was just meant to freak people out, still can't really get behind that. I decided I would never really know how I felt until I saw the film. <br /><br />A few weeks ago, my girlfriend were doing a random google search for Crispin Glover, and there it was: "Crispin Hellion Glover: Appearing Live at the IFC Center, Manhattan to present "What Is It?" and "It Is Fine! Everything is Fine." We both had the day off, so we bought our tickets to see "It Is Fine!". What we got was definitely not what we expected. <br /><br />A long line on a rainy Manhattan sidewalk on a sweaty Memorial Day, mostly made up of hipsters and artsy looking folk, and strangely enough some extremely drunk frat looking kids. After a long wait, we filed into the theater. The lights go down. A door near the screen opens and I catch the distinct profile of Crispin Glover. Myself and a few others that caught his profile cheer. He shouts "Welcome!" in the dark then proceeds to read six of his art books from giant projections on the screen. They are visually interesting and wild, sometimes funny, sometimes just weird and sometimes scary. This goes on for quite a while. Glover never relents in his dramatic delivery. Shouting, shaking his fists, sweat pouring off of him. He finishes. The crowd cheers, then he shouts 'Enjoy The film!'<br /><br />The dramatic opening thundering classical music blares and the title credits roll. The first time we see lead character, Paul Baker, played by Steven C. Stewart, he is falling from his wheelchair, his head smacks the institutional linoleum and an old, demented looking woman stares at him. We enter his world as an orderly lifts him back into his chair. He wheels to a room where the theme music starts skipping on a record player and he stares at a picture of what we can assume is his mother. <br />Stewart had severe cerebral palsy and can't really communicate verbally, though he tries. <br /><br />This film completely surprised me. At first, I thought it was a sympathetic view of a man with a horrible disease, but I had no idea what I was in for. This turns into a deranged, psycho-sexual serial killer film where the killer in question has severe cerebral palsy. I was incredibly disturbed as the sex killings ramped up. I couldn't help but think that Glover was a completely demented person responsible for one of the most deeply fucked up films I had ever seen. In my heart, I knew that this couldn't just be exploitative trash, but the images are so incredibly strong and deeply disturbing that I couldn't handle it at some points. I haven't covered my eyes at a film since I was 11 at 'Predator 2'. This film actually made me feel sick while I was watching it. <br /><br />I was actually tempted to leave at the end of the film, but I wanted to see how Glover would explain himself. As the credits ended, Glover jumped up in the still dark theater and yelled 'Any questions?' in a somewhat sardonic tone. Everyone cheered. A Crispin Glover Q and A is more like a Q and then he rambles for about a half hour, then a Q. This technique proved to be excellent, however, because Glover completely explained the entire movie, his philosophy on art and culture, how to be an outsider while still being inside the corporately funded film industry and basically everything else that came into his impressive mind. <br /><br />Turns out, this film wasn't even Glover's idea. He read the screenplay, written by Steven C. Stewart, the main actor in the film. Glover was impressed and knew that only he could make the film happen. He flew out to Salt Lake City and met with Stewart and a dynamic creative partnership was formed. Once I found this out, I wasn't as offended by the film. Stewart was an intelligent guy, a good writer, and knew exactly what was going on. Not knowing this going into the film makes it incredibly more disturbing, however. So sorry for ruining that brain-fuck for you. <br /><br />From a strictly male point of view, it makes sense that a man with severe cerebral palsy would write a bunch of sex scenes with beautiful women into a film he was going to star in. It actually would make sense that any guy would write a movie starring himself the same way! Glover said that the original screenplay was 150 pages long and would have basically been a hardcore porn film. They cut the script down to fifty pages, but maintained some of the explicitness of Stewart's screenplay. <br /><br />Stewart actually died one month after this film was finished. Glover said that Stewart called him one day and asked him if he was needed for the film anymore. Glover said it was a very bittersweet conversation because he knew that if he said no, Stewart would die. If he had said yes, Glover said, he would have lived as long as it would have taken him to complete the film. <br />Glover financed this film himself, because he thought it was important that Stewart's film be made. He knew how important this film was to Stewart and knew how little time they had to make it. Learning this made me completely respect Glover in a completely new way, one that I couldn't have predicted. He went above and beyond to help a man that had been ignored and looked down upon his entire life. Sure, the movie is sick as hell, but that's the way Stewart wanted it. That is profound. <br /><br />Stewart was put into a nursing home for his entire 20s because the antiquated mental health community of the Salt Lake City of the 1960s just thought he was retarded. The fact that he couldn't express himself verbally made him a 'mongoloid' in their minds and he was locked away for a decade. Glover says that this severe mental and emotional trauma reverberates through all his work. He was a pissed off guy. Imagine being perfectly intelligent but not being able to express yourself and being held somewhere against your will for ten years. You'd be pissed as well. <br /><br />Glover rambled on, and I was very impressed not only by his level of intelligence, but by his level of empathy for people that struggle outside of mainstream society. He said that he acts in big budget Hollywood films and then takes that money and does his independent art with it. For example, "It is Fine!" was financed with the money that he made on "Charlie's Angels". He completely created his villain character for that role, including the hair-smelling fetish. Steven C. Stewart had a fetish for smelling hair, which is actually one of the main themes in "It Is Fine!". He loves women with long hair, and when they tell him they will cut their hair short, he murders them. Glover said he never consciously made that a part of his character in 'Angels', but it must have been lurking in his subconscious from working with Stewart. <br /><br />It was a rollercoaster of a night, confusing one minute, horrifying the next, fascinating then confusing yet again. I walked out with much more respect for Glover than I ever thought I would have. He's so much more than George McFly. <br /><br />As I walked through the lobby, Crispin raced past me. I said, "Hey, Crispin!" He spun around and said "Yes?"<br />I said, "Hey, that was amazing." <br />He flashed a truly maniacal smile, his eyes alight with strange fire and said, "Thanks." <br />No, thank you, Crispin. A truly misunderstood genius, an outlaw auteur. These people are getting more rare by the day, so thanks for sticking to your guns, Mr. Glover. <br /><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_8AMfsrQHH8rIKwG-TthOVc6HFfhsIt3Y8MkZtucQTL6XqM7nNi7HuRrg5_6sDclYDRebpAKn4WXXIbPQXABePEDyt0eRyAUMP3QCU9D-SWLDLIXItiDkUpyHg61LCoI3uPXtpDYZPClp/s200/Crispin+Glover-1.jpg"/>DJ Mike Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00370211597248586221noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7786625613206249692.post-31945654215250956612010-06-01T14:48:00.001-07:002010-06-02T15:39:10.422-07:00Exclusive Interview with 'Night Feeders' Director Jet Eller<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgT6dwmuupq2ZSpctBjygFgIBSUpJl_OfwArcWxV2FwlM6_r43nWIipnNxjQsfw64Xx5QqB4TvRrpSGVf1u_EUjIbcdH4v99RojqhNpEcYaMr4cKc7FYuagyRx4lrR65mSIP-TnHVIFf5jN/s1600/night_feeders.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 136px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgT6dwmuupq2ZSpctBjygFgIBSUpJl_OfwArcWxV2FwlM6_r43nWIipnNxjQsfw64Xx5QqB4TvRrpSGVf1u_EUjIbcdH4v99RojqhNpEcYaMr4cKc7FYuagyRx4lrR65mSIP-TnHVIFf5jN/s200/night_feeders.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5478257246137371746" /></a><br />I really like regional films. Especially regional horror films. There is something about a bunch of non-pro actors doing their best to scare you and or amuse you with limited resources that really speaks to me. These are the real people. The guy who gets his arm blown off? He could be your mechanic. The lady whose tongue gets ripped out? She works at the mini-mart. Etc., etc. <br />My love for regional, 'Outsider' horror films has taken me into some pretty fetid waters. I have watched <a href="http://fermentedfilm.blogspot.com/search/label/Shot%20on%20Video">about 200 too many horrible home made horror films.</a> But the good ones strike such a chord with me that it makes the unwatchable stuff worth sifting through. <br /> Enter <span style="font-weight:bold;">Night Feeders</span>. This film from Asheville, North Carolina's own Jet Eller peaked my interested after I read about it on the excellent movie review site <a href="http://www.critcononline.com/">Critical Condition.</a> They gave it a good review, so I added it to the queue. <br />I sat down on a lazy day off with a few beers and popped in the movie. I really enjoyed it. It is way, way better than 99% of the straight to video horror stuff out there. Its a simple tale of small town southerners versus alien invaders. It looks great, the acting is good, and the special effects (aside from a minimal amount of cheesy CGI) are excellent. I posted a positive review of the film over at the Rue Morgue forum, and none other than the director/writer, Jet Eller sent me a thankful message. We continued to correspond, and just recently I was lucky enough to sit down with Jet (via the internet) and get a little q and a going. So without further ado, I am proud to present the first interview on this site! Welcome, Jet Eller!<br /><br /><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEii5TjRdn-AbywInwj3Byrtb6g5WkLvIjhlBQDLV7ZmL3dEzmEBXeXQBTgC4QdrRSOFU_or6RWXQ5TfJca7rklT5P2JMfi_ouHRe9baB8w1hHgyTkkRZO8oI0X3hbLnb_t4rLTtB9UXzckt/s1600/jet.jpg"/><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Fermented Film</span>: What are your favorite horror films? <br /> <br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Jet Eller</span>: Hands down, Night of the Living Dead. No film ever had such an impact on me. Yes, the acting was bad and it looked like it was shot on burlap, but it had impact. Not only did it break several "rules", but it did it brazenly.<br /> <br /> <br /> <span style="font-weight:bold;">FF</span>: Who are your favorite horror directors?<br /> <br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">JE</span>: I liked early John Carpenter. His first few films were great. Ridley Scott is no longer a horror film director, but he has my vote as one of the best. Alien was a masterpiece. He took a simple story and kept you on the edge of your seat.<br />James Whale and Alfred Hitchcock are also favorites of mine. Hitchcock had such a great eye. I admire Whale because he was a pioneer (Frankenstein). <br /> <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">FF</span>: Does 'Night Feeders' have any influences?<br /> <br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">JE</span>: Sure. Jaws, NOTLD, Last Man on Earth, Alien, and believe it or not, Attack of the Killer Shrews.<br /> <br /> <br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">FF</span>: Donnie Evans is great in this film, is this his first movie? <br /> <br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">JE</span>: No, not his first. Donnie and I did a feature together in 1990 called "Marley's Revenge-The Monster Movie". It was shot on 16mm (old school) and took 2 years to shoot. He played a bad guy redneck named Sloth. A very entertaining piece of crap (not Donnie, the movie...but Donnie is entertaining, too).<br /> <br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">FF</span>: 'Marley's Revenge'! Whoa, this sounds like fun. Is there any way to get a copy of this film?<br /> <br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">JE</span>: This summer, Marley's will be 20 years old and will be available on my website Jetpoweredfilms.com. Probably around late July.<br /> Marley's revenge was a blast to shoot. We had 60 zombies, crazed vigilantes, a 14 foot skelotasaurus, and an Indiana Jones wannabe. Terrible, but a lot of fun for a fan of low budget films. If you only knew the work that went into it.<br /> <br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">FF</span>: 'Night Feeders' looks great, what kind of equipment was it shot on?<br /> <br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">JE</span>: Believe it or not, we shot it with a Panasonic DVX100. We shot it a 24 Frames per second (to give us a grainy "drive-in" look). This choice bit us in the butt later when we tired to put the CGI aliens in. The blacks were not true enough to match the composite and it gave us a "bad separation". <br /> <br /> <br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">FF</span>: Why did you choose CGI for the creature effects? <br /> <br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">JE</span>: It's a case where our hearts were in the right place, but our wallets weren't big enough. We chose CGI because I wanted something that scrambled in the dark and was vicious. I figured a person in a suit wouldn't work and if we kept the image in the dark, we could hint at odd size and skin textures without having a direct focus on it. Quick moving shots. Unfortunately, we had to make them brighter than I would have liked (to make the blacks go grayer to match the grain of the Panasonic). Shooting HI def would have prevented the problem. Back to the money thing.<br /> <br /> <br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">FF</span>: I was impressed by the performances you got out of your actors. What is your approach with directing your performers?<br /> <br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">JE</span>: I try to stress keeping it natural (easier said than done). But its much easier when the material is written with certain actors in mind. Donnie's part was written for him. What you see is what you get with Donnie. We've been friends for 30 years and I couldn't imagine doing a film without him in it somewhere.<br /> The other actors work in the commercial industry here in North Carolina and I've worked with them on many projects.<br /> If I could give a director's tip, this is it...drop any pretentious "I'm the director" bullshit and loosely work with the actors one on one. You'll get a better performance and the actor will have much more respect for you if you personally take the time and eliminate the problems he or she has about the part. A mass rehearsal without "one on one" can be intimidating to some. They can't read your mind and they look for you to guide them through the scene. With a ultra low budget, you want as much in your favor as you can get.<br /> <br /> <br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">FF</span>: The gore effects in 'Night Feeders' are excellent. Can you tell me a bit about the effects and who created them?<br /> <br /> <span style="font-weight:bold;">JE</span>: We had a fellow named Andy Boswell handle those effects. He worked on Evil Dead 2 and tons of industrial films. He was also the fisherman with the life vest at the beginning of the film. <br /> <br /> <br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">FF</span>: Another Asheville, NC indy director is Joshua P. Warren. Are you familiar with his first and last film, the infamous 'Inbred Rednecks'?<br /> <br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">JE</span>: That sounds like fun! I've heard of him only through his Ghost books and paranormal activities. I didn't realize he had made a feature, also.<br /> <br /> <br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">FF</span>: Another indy genre vet who made some 'small townsfolk versus aliens' films was the late Don Dohler. Are you familiar with Don's work? <br /> <br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">JE</span>: Oh, yes, of course. Galaxy Invader was one of my favorite no budget films. Alien Factor was another one that reeked to high heaven, but it was fun as hell to watch.<br /> <br /> <br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">FF</span>: How do you feel about the current state of horror films, major and indie?<br /> <br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">JE</span>: I keep waiting for the new face of horror to show up. I'm not complaining about the great movies I've seen over the years, but most have become mirrors of other films. Nobody seems to have the balls to try something different. Remember how The Exorcist changed the way most people thought of horror? They brought in factors you just aren't suppose to bring in...#1 Harming a child...#2 Using religion so strongly in a film...#3 masturbation with the cross? Holy smoke, nobody's suppose to do that! A true assault of a filmgoing experience...I loved it and I miss it. <br />Just around the corner, one is waiting.<br /> <br /> <br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">FF</span>: What were the biggest challenges of the 'Night Feeders' production? <br /> <br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">JE</span>: Deer hunters...REAL deer hunters. The farm we rented to shoot on was in deer hunting country. We didn't know it but a lot of the hunters used the house as a hunting cabin (illegally). We were threatened with physical harm (said they were going to shoot our asses if we didn't leave). We didn't and they (or somebody) came back and destroyed our house set...completely.<br /> <br /> <br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">FF</span>: What's coming next from Jet Eller and co.? <br /> <br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">JE</span>: We just finished shooting "Never Feed The Troll". It will be available on the website this summer, also (BTW, the site is up, but not in a completed form). Night Feeders was sold to a worldwide distributer about 4 years ago. I refuse to go that route again. Distributers get so much of the money, there's nothing left for the filmmaker. "Never Feed The Troll" will be distributed by us, Jet Powered Films...at least for now.<br /> I have written 15 scripts over the years and I hope to continue shooting my own projects. I'd really like to do another horror/comedy. I have one in mind, but we'll have to see how "Never Feed The Troll" does.<br /> Three of my scripts are biographies, my favorite being "The Harpes" which I co-wrote with the decendant of Micajah and Wiley Harpe. If you don't know who these guys are, do a Google search and prepare yourself for monsters that even Leatherface couldn't rival. Absolutely terrifying story. America's first serial killers.<br /> <br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Special Thanks to Jet Eller for conducting this interview. Even specialler thanks to Jet for being an independent filmmaker who makes awesome horror movies! Keep up the good work!</span>DJ Mike Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00370211597248586221noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7786625613206249692.post-65937846556193029012010-05-28T07:40:00.000-07:002010-05-28T08:02:26.171-07:00The Top 2 Movies of the 2000sBecause I am lazy, I will just post my top two films of the past decade, if you want me to tell you why, just shoot me a message or leave a comment. I think they are both pretty self-explanatory. <br /><br />2. <IMG SRC="http://glothelegend.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/kill_bill.jpg"/><br />I count <span style="font-weight:bold;">Kill Bill</span> parts 1 and 2 as one movie. And what an amazing movie it is. <br /><br />1. <span style="font-weight:bold;">The Best Movie of the 2000s IS</span><br /><img src="http://filmgrounds.files.wordpress.com/2009/09/wet_hot_american_summer_ver1.jpg"/><br />In my opinion, <span style="font-style:italic;">Wet Hot</span> is one of, if not the funniest, comedies ever filmed. It is definitely the best movie of any category for the past ten years. It completely set the tone that the best comedies of the 00s followed. Its a perfect film. That's my 2 cents. <br />Now that this is out of my system, stay tuned! Tons of crap coming soon!DJ Mike Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00370211597248586221noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7786625613206249692.post-73379476451087744812010-03-09T13:44:00.000-08:002010-03-09T13:52:59.395-08:00Pulp Fiction: Messenger By Edward Lee<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51CMRZHN7QL.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 305px; height: 500px;" src="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51CMRZHN7QL.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">I'm a voracious reader, and Horror has been one of my favorite genres of fiction since I was old enough to read. I'm kind of sick of writing about movies for minute, so as a change of pace, I'll be throwing in reviews of the juicier, pulpier stuff I've been polluting my brain with lately. </span><br /><br /><br /><br />Disclaimer: the review I am giving this book is not on the same rating scale as all literature. This is so out there, you couldn't review it with the same rating system as say, <span style="font-style:italic;">Moby Dick</span>. That would be like stacking up <span style="font-style:italic;">The Toxic Avenger</span> against <span style="font-style:italic;">The Hurt Locker</span> . The only thing these works have in common is their medium, so I've decided to rate this book on its merits as a work of Pulp Horror alone. And in that arena, this book kicks serious slimy demon butt. <br /><br />Ed Lee has a reputation in the literary horror world as being the most intense, most grossest, most disgustingest writer there is. Apparently his mass market novels published under the Leisure Books imprint are somewhat toned down when compared to his small press, hard to find work. If this is Ed Lee toned down, I can't even fathom what his 'hardcore' stuff is like. I mean, how much more intense and nasty could fiction possibly be? Are his small press books printed on poisonous paper that burns your fingers when you turn the page? Is the copy printed in a font that eventually makes your eyes bleed? Does the book explode when you close it? The only way any book could be harder and nastier than this book is if it did those things. <br /><br />Back in 2006, when my discovery of the works of Brian Keene, Jack Ketchum and Richard Laymon stoked my post Stephen King interest in horror fiction, I picked up Ed Lee's newest novel, The Backwoods . I figured 'hey, if all these authors I love love this guy, he must be awesome.' The book sucked. Really hard. In fact I couldn't even get more than about 80 pages into it. It was embarrassingly bad. Since then I've never picked up another book by Lee, until the other day when I was doing laundry. I forgot the book I was reading at that time at home, so on the way to the laundromat I stopped into the local library. I picked up this book, read the summary and the first page and decided to give old Mr. Lee a whirl. I read the first 70 pages in the laundromat. I wonder if the little Mexican kids there thought I was weird, this big bearded dude reading some creepy looking book with his eyes bugging out of his head, turning the pages as fast as he could. <br /><br />The premise is pretty silly sounding: The Messenger, a mysterious demonic figure possesses postal workers in a small Florida town and uses them to carry out his heinous acts. Lee takes this idea, and basically pumps it full of steroids, LSD, crack and demon blood and lets it loose. This is one king-hell, rip-snortin' beast of a horror novel. Its also very well plotted and actually has a soft tender side that doesn't beat itself over your head, but is there enough so that you actually care about the main characters. <br />I think that's the book's greatest feat. Combining mayhem, gore and violence that goes as completely over the top as it definitely does here with characters you actually care about is not an easy feat, and Lee pulls it off seemingly without effort. <br /><br />The Messenger is an amazing villain, as well. I don't want to go into too much detail into what he does and how he does it, as I don't want to give away too much and ruin this book for someone brave enough to read it. Lets just say that he's one of the most nefarious bad guys I've come across in a horror novel, and I read tons of horror fiction. The level of nastiness is cranked up to 11 here, and all because of this one bastard. <br /><br />Also there are some deliciously clever twists towards the end that will seriously take you by surprise. <br /><br />Basically, if you like pulpy horror, you have an iron stomach and are brave enough, give this book a try. You won't be disappointed. (But it may make you question your own sanity for reading these kinds of things.)DJ Mike Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00370211597248586221noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7786625613206249692.post-76054195630268893632010-02-25T22:01:00.000-08:002010-02-25T22:18:50.435-08:00Jennifer's Body: The Almost Classic Horror Film of 2009<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.impawards.com/2009/posters/jennifers_body.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 510px; height: 755px;" src="http://www.impawards.com/2009/posters/jennifers_body.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br />I thought 'Jennifer's Body' looked lame. Megan Fox is the kind of actress that looks out of place unless there are giant cgi robots fighting around her. She pretty much always looks like she should be in a Maxim photo shoot. Which is why people think she is hot. By people I mean dudes who judge hotness by looking at Maxim. By those dudes, I might mean douchebags, but if I were to go ahead and say that, I might lose half of my 20 or so readers. (Fuck you, Boston Phoenix.) Okay, where was I? Oh yes, Megan Fox is a terrible actress, and she's good looking in a way that I don't agree with. She looks computer animated. Seriously. Try to watch her try to act. Her face looks completely unnatural. Like it needs to be completely motionless to be admired. Plastic surgery, maybe. Not into it, personally. <br />The worst thing about 'Jennifer's Body' is that Megan Fox is in it. This movie is one smart, funny, deeply cynical and satirical bastard. Minus Megan Fox and released with a lower profile, this would have been the 'Heathers' of ... what do you call this generation, the lower case generation z? <br />If you are anything like me, you are pretty sure that 99% of these intensely terrible pop-punk/emo/hipster bands kill virgins to get large. I don't want to give anything else away, but this film surmises just that. The cheesiest, crappiest, emo hipster bands sacrifice virgins to Satan. I couldn't agree more. Beyond that, the movie is excellently written, the CGI is kept to a minimum and the worst thing about the movie is Megan Fox. Awesome.<br />It really feels like an incredibly smart film got dumbed over big time by 20th Century Fox, hence Megan Fox, etc. If this had been an indy flick, minus Megan Fox, it would have been a sensation.DJ Mike Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00370211597248586221noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7786625613206249692.post-17223114541719324642010-01-15T09:21:00.001-08:002010-01-15T09:28:33.712-08:00A Quick Political Aside: Jesse Ventura for President 2012!A quick political aside, then I'll get back to my snail's paced inventory of the <a href="http://fermentedfilm.blogspot.com/search/label/Top%20Ten%20Movies%20of%20the%20Oughts">Top Ten Movies of the Oughts.</a> I watched this speech today and it really spoke to me. Cheesy 'reality' show aside, Jesse Ventura is a very smart guy, and I agree with much of what he says. The Democrats and Republicans have driven this country into the ground while furthering their own power. Its a natural progression, I suppose, the government's only goal seems to be furthering their power and influence at the expense of the common people. Its sick, either way, whether the Republican oil and military complex or the Democratic drive to expand the government's role further and further into the private sector. Either way, they win, we lose. This speech is great, even if you don't agree with Jesse, you should be able to appreciate a good speech for what it is. I personally think any American politician who is comfortable with the people overthrowing the government is a breath of fresh air. Enjoy: <object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/yAjvF1XEa3w&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/yAjvF1XEa3w&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/dSr2U3hgdIc&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/dSr2U3hgdIc&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/2urUO9lgFC4&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/2urUO9lgFC4&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>DJ Mike Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00370211597248586221noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7786625613206249692.post-74108631452420376192010-01-10T08:20:00.001-08:002010-01-10T08:32:29.081-08:00Top Ten Movies of the Oughts: Number 3<span style="font-weight:bold;">Grindhouse</span><br /><img src="http://ghostradio.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/grindhouse-poster-big.jpg"/><br />This double feature is the ultimate gift from Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez to their hardcore fans. It is also a tribute to just how much fun going to a ratty Times Square movie theatre or a drive-in was back in the 80s or 70s. I was too young to experience this back then, but I have spent most of my adult life scouring the world for the rarest, weirdest, gnarliest films I can find on VHS or DVD. This film is a gift for people like myself. Its Q and Rodriguez's homage to the weirdest and wickedest aspects of underground cinema. Each of the movies aren't the greatest movies ever made, but they both are fun and fit the concept perfectly. Out of the two, I like <span style="font-weight:bold;">Deathproof</span> the best. Some of the most exciting car chase footage ever, expertly directed by Tarantino. This package didn't translate very well to DVD. For some reason, when you watch these movies on TV they lose their power. This is a double bill, two for the price of one movie going experience. The fake trailers, the whole presentation is so cool and fun. I remember having a really great time at the theatre when I saw this film. The whole theatre was yelling, laughing, etc. This movie is really about how much fun going to the theatre could and should be. An awesome concept, delivered in full.DJ Mike Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00370211597248586221noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7786625613206249692.post-10298572911609197912010-01-07T18:41:00.000-08:002010-01-08T21:59:19.283-08:00Top Ten Movies of the Oughts: Number 44. <span style="font-weight:bold;">Rambo</span><br /><img src="http://productionguild.com/live/pictures/rambo.jpg"/><br /><br />If your nose wasn't turned up at my list yet, I bet it is now. Yep, <span style="font-weight:bold;">Rambo</span> is one of my favorite movies of the past decade. Beyond the surface-level reasons that a rad dude would like this movie "its wicked frickin gory, dude!", lurks possibly the most insane anti-war film ever made. Its perfect, when you think about it. The tail end of 8 years of terrible government, war at home and abroad, the shadowy aftermath of 9-11, where the country's deepest fears and darkest impulses were lived out day to day on a global stage. The past decade has been a non-stop war. So, here comes Rambo to save the day. Pickup trucks with American flag stickers on their bumpers jammed the multiplexes to see John Rambo defeat Old Glory's enemies, just like he did in the Reagan era. The 2008 Rambo was different, however. Stallone went completely batshit insane on growth hormones and made one of the most unrelenting, dark, and horrific action films ever. If you feel good about war after you see this movie, you have some serious problems. When I saw this film in the theater, the tension was palpable. There were older guys there, who looked like Nam veterans, there were dumb kids, and there were my friends and I. We all thought we'd be in for a jolly old over the top romp. The level of viciousness, the completely disgusting and terrible stuff on display in this film made me really uneasy. A little part of me wanted to have fun with the film, but I was absolutely revolted and sickened by the actions of the bad guys, the 'Burmese' army. Burma is now known as Myanmar, but maybe Stallone kept the old name to avoid a lawsuit, or something. <br /><br />This isn't gore for gore's sake, either. Stallone filled this film with innocent people, women and children being butchered to show you what is really going on all over the world. If the big, bad U.S.A is all for what is right and good in this world, why aren't we trying to stop the genocide in Myanmar, or the Congo or anywhere else in the world where the only law is respect the man with the biggest gun? Fact is, if there is nothing that serves the wishes of the government and the economy, there is no reason for us to be the good guys. Stallone doesn't spell this out for the audience, but if you are a thinking person, this movie will stick with you and really make you think. I remember I couldn't sleep the night I saw it. The violence is so intense and sickening that it will haunt you. <br /><br />Stallone really makes you hate the bad guys to the point where you are just really, really excited to see them get theirs. And, oh boy, do they ever. The aging Stallone, hulking around sullenly, is more menacing than he was back in the 80s and in the dark, rainy jungle, as he stalks his prey, the film almost becomes like a Friday The 13th movie with Rambo instead of Jason. I mean, he even machetes people. This movie is a work of pure whacked out, sick brilliance, and I think its the best and most effective anti-war movie I've ever seen. Its also one of the only truly great action movies of the past decade.DJ Mike Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00370211597248586221noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7786625613206249692.post-2837087056096937572010-01-05T17:24:00.000-08:002010-01-05T18:07:05.274-08:00Top Ten Movies of the Oughts: Number 55. <span style="font-weight:bold;">Bubba Ho-Tep</span><br /><img src="http://www.amoeba.com/dynamic-images/blog/Eric_B/Bubba_ho_tep.jpg"/><br />This is the sleeper of the list. Brandon Collins and I drove all the way to Nickleodeon Cinemas in Falmouth from Orleans in the middle of a horrific blizzard in the winter of 2004 to see it. It took us about an hour in the swirling snowflakes, and when we got there, the movie hadn't made it over the bridge. The distributor was scared by the snow. Viking warriors that we are, we waited out the storm in the Quarterdeck in Hyannis, then drove about 15 mph all the way back to Exit 12. It was a good night, after all, but I wish we had seen this movie like we planned. I bought the DVD as soon as it came out in the summer of 2004, for some reason I wasn't that taken with it. (It may have had something to do with the fact that I spent most of my time blaring heavy metal and jumping into bushes for fun back then. Damn, that was a long time ago now. It was fun. What I can recall of it.) This DVD went to Santa Cruz, back to Cape Cod, back to Santa Cruz, down to Louisville, KY, back to the Cape, up to Somerville, MA, back to the Cape and finally wound up in Roslindale, MA with my girlfriend, me and our hedgehog, Huey. About 3 weeks ago, scouring my shelves for something to watch (I have an enormous DVD collection but am too broke to afford cable, a weird predicament that I have a feeling isn't too rare these days.) I stumbled across this movie, popped 'er in. I was immediately in love. <br /><br />This film is based on a short story by the brilliant Texas author <a href="http://www.joerlansdale.com/">Joe R. Lansdale</a>. I call him brilliant but I've never even read any of his books. The writing in this film, however, which is apparently incredibly faithful to Lansdale's story, is absolutely brilliant. Cult legend Bruce Campbell plays Elvis Presley, who is now a sickly old man in an East Texas rest home, bedridden and depressed. Everyone thinks he's insane, that he's an Elvis impersonator who has dementia and thinks he is really the King. Elvis, it turns out, actually traded places with an Elvis impersonator, also played by Bruce Campbell, in the 70s. He was never into the fame. He just like rock and roll and ladies. He hated all his leech-friends, so he was happy to live a semi-obscure life as an impersonator of himself. <span style="font-style:italic;">But</span>, all this backstory is told by Elvis himself, so it could very well all be made up. Now, this on its own is a brilliant premise, but this is just the beginning. <br /><br />One of Elvis' neighbors is JFK. JFK is played by Ozzie Davis. Yep, JFK is an old black guy. They took JFK's brain and switched it with a black man's before the assassination. So JFK's room is full of pictures of Jackie O, a diorama of the scene of his assassination, and all sorts of odds and ends relating to JFK. And it still gets better. <br /><br />An ancient mummy is in the rest home, eating the souls of the old people, because they are weak and easy to prey on. Elvis and JFK team up to battle the mummy and protect their home. The dialog, and Elvis' monologue is SO good, its some of the best writing ever in a movie. Seriously, the dialog is perfect. Its genius. From the opening scene: Elvis lays in bed and looks in the mirror. Bruce Campbell VO: "How did I go from the King of Rock and Roll to this? An old guy in a rest home in East Texas with a growth on his pecker. And what is that growth? Nobody's talkin." And the direction, by the legendary <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0181741/">Don Coscarell</a>i, is perfect as well. So, you have an amazing premise on top of an amazing premise on top of an amazing premise paired with genius writing and excellent effects and direction. This film is hilarious, fun, creepy, depressing and uplifting, usually all at the same time. Its just about a perfect movie and like no other movie you will ever see. <br /><br />UPDATE: Made a hot link to Don Coscarelli's imdb.com page and discovered that they are making a sequel called "Bubba Nosferatu"!!! Its written by Lansdale and Coscarelli!!! See "Ho-Tep" now so you can be as excited about this as me!DJ Mike Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00370211597248586221noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7786625613206249692.post-90297622477342817492010-01-04T16:37:00.000-08:002010-01-04T16:53:21.754-08:00Top Ten Movies of the Oughts: Number 66. <span style="font-weight:bold;">The Devil's Rejects</span><br /><img src="http://www.moviesonline.ca/movie-gallery/albums/userpics//TDRPoster.jpeg"/><br /><br />Film nerds may turn their noses high at this choice. After all, Rob Zombie did direct the much loathed <span style="font-weight:bold;">Halloween </span> remakes (which I loved, even the second one, which might be the most hated horror film ever. I seriously think I'm the only person on earth that liked it.), keep on pointin' your noses to the stars, nerds, while me and the rest of the real people on the ground enjoy this seriously effed up, jet-fueled, shock-a-minute piece of pulp thriller sleaze. This movie is SLEAZY. There are not a whole lot of newer films that you can say are really SLEAZY. That is a term left mostly to describe by-gone drive-in and grindhouse fare of the 70s and 80s. This is the genre that Zombie was paying homage to in this film, and he wound up making a sleazy piece of art that is actually a solid addition to the grindhouse canon. When I saw this film, I was hoping that it wasn't the type of movie that tries to make the serial killers look cool, to appeal to some psychobilly, kids who wear Charles Manson shirts and think they are rebels demographic. It does, I guess, but it balances out the folk-legend of the evil, killer 'family' with an even bigger, more awesome folk hero: Sheriff Wydell. <img src="http://www.eatmybrains.com/images/news/devils_feature2.jpg"/> Bill Forsythe, who is always amazing, in anything he's ever been in (especially this movie and <span style="font-weight:bold;">Out For Justice</span>), is a massive one-up to the killer family. He's the ultimate avenging cop, who gets so caught up in his 'demon killin' that he goes completely insane and becomes a monster so awesome and vengeful that he scares the crap out of the killer family themselves. Wydell is my favorite part of this movie, and he's really the reason the film is above and beyond. He's an original invention created by Rob Zombie that is greater than the sum of his parts. He's part Johnny Cash, part Dirty Harry Callahan, part Wyatt Earp and 100% badass. Try not to cheer as he humiliates and tortures the sick serial killing family. Its messed up justice at its best. The soundtrack, direction, writing and acting (except for Sherri Moon, who is as annoying as she is gorgeous... wait, maybe she was supposed to be like that... yeah, I think she was, so yeah, all the acting) is top notch. This is Rob Zombie's best movie and definitely one of my favorites of the past 10 years.DJ Mike Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00370211597248586221noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7786625613206249692.post-84739759008374794342009-12-29T08:46:00.000-08:002010-01-04T16:53:42.897-08:00Top Ten Movies of the Oughts: Number 77. <span style="font-weight:bold;">Be Here To Love Me: A Film About Townes Van Zandt</span> (2004)<br /><img src="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/61gZReiweDL._SL500_AA240_.jpg"/><br />My sister, my mom and my main man Bruce Gibson are long time Townes van Zandt fans, and I honestly didn't get it until I saw this movie. I remember being in my early 20s and just thinking 'this music is depressing' when I heard it. A little growing up and a whole lot of dark times later and I see this movie, summer of 2006. As soon as the opening song "Rake" kicks in, I'm a fan for life. Van Zandt is one of the most truthful singers ever, and you can tell he's been through it when you listen to him. I would place him at the very top of the folk/country canon. I think he's better than Dylan, which is of course, saying something. Steve Earle said "Townes Van Zandt is the best songwriter in the whole world and I'll stand on Bob Dylan's coffee table in my cowboy boots and say that!" Upon hearing that Earle said this about him, Townes replied "I've met Bob Dylan, and his bodyguards wouldn't let Steve Earle anywhere near his coffee table." A typical Townes quote: succinct, simple and funny on the surface, but packs in some meaning underneath. This is not only good-natured ribbing towards his friend Steve Earle, it is a subtle jab at Dylan. Dylan was a huge Townes fan, and Townes turned down offers from Dylan to write songs together. Townes liked Dylan's early music, but didn't admire his celebrity status. Dylan, in turn, doesn't seem to admire his celebrity status as well, so you could make the assumption that Van Zandt is the real McCoy. He's the musician Bob Dylan wishes he was. Which of course, put Van Zandt at the top of the pile. <br />Townes Van Zandt is a bewildering, completely mind-boggling subject. Become a fan and its not hard to become obsessed with this man and his music. You could listen to any of his songs and write a huge essay about that one song. The stories about the man himself are just as incredible as the songs, so he was long overdue for a quality documentary. This film was Margaret Brown's first, and its a true labor of love. She loved his music and thought that it was under appreciated. So, she went out there and interviewed Townes' family, friends and fellow musicians. She came away with a truly beautiful film, a documentary that is as heart breaking and profound as Townes' music and his life. Anyone who hasn't discovered the undiluted genius of Townes Van Zandt, see this film and if you aren't affected by it, you probably are dead.DJ Mike Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00370211597248586221noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7786625613206249692.post-18859189719817250862009-12-29T08:31:00.000-08:002010-01-04T16:54:00.788-08:00Top Ten Movies of the Oughts: Number 88. <span style="font-weight:bold;">Stepbrothers</span> (2008)<br /><img src="http://jordanhoffman.com/wp-content/uploads/stepbrothers.gif"/><br />This is not only one of the funniest movies of the past decade, its Will Ferrell's funniest movie. Which is saying something. <span style="font-weight:bold;">Anchorman</span> was a tour-de-force, showcasing not only Ferrell's comedic prowess but also a great ensemble cast including Paul Rudd, Steve Carell, David Koechner, Chris Parnell, Christina Applegate and more. That movie is pee your pants funny, but this movie is even funnier. This is poop your pants funny. The equally hilarious John C. Reilly comes in with more than an assist, Ferrell and he share the spotlight, and their back and forth idiocy is up there with the all time great comedy duos. This is a laugh riot! Sorry, I just wanted to sound like Bill Diehl for a second. This movie is hilarious from the beginning straight through the end. There is no lag time. It hits the ground running and just increases speed. The dialog is so good, you will catch hilarious lines that you missed from laughing hard at the line right before it. I think I've seen this movie 9 or 10 times, and I catch little, hilarious throw away lines every time I watch it. Reilly and Ferrell are masters of taking a concept and pushing it as far as it will go, catching the energy of improvisation and applying it to the scene and maximizing the comedic potential. This is one of my favorite movies of the oughts (obviously, its on my top 10), I can't recommend it enough. Beware, however, you may poop your pants and drool all over yourself from laughing so hard.DJ Mike Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00370211597248586221noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7786625613206249692.post-37779220610061508892009-12-26T10:35:00.000-08:002010-01-04T16:54:15.935-08:00Top Ten Movies of the Oughts: Number 99. <span style="font-weight:bold;">Jackass Number Two</span> (2006)<br /><br /><IMG Src="http://www.filmfortress.com/images/jackass_two_review.jpg"><br /><br />Its strange to think that one of the greatest TV shows of the past decade basically consisted of a bunch of somewhat insane, non sober dudes doing terrible things to each other and themselves. When historians look back that this era, I'm sure they will hold Jackass up as an example of the decline of western civilization. Whatever, the shit is funny. And gross, and insane and awe-inspiring and sickening. Basically its awesome. I was really bummed after the first Jackass movie. It seemed like that was it. <span style="font-weight:bold;">The Wildboyz</span> with Chris Pontius and Steve-O was pretty hilarious, the Bam show made me not really like him that much and Johnny Knoxville tried to make regular movies. It looked like the end of an era. Then, WHAM! A week or so before it hit theaters, the trailer for <span style="font-weight:bold;">Number 2</span> hit the internet and TV. I was very excited. I was also skeptical of the film, would it eclipse the first one? It not only was better than the first one, it was the best thing these guys have ever done. They raised the bar so high with this movie that I'm a little worried about next year's <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1116184/">Jackass 3</a>. If they get even crazier than they did with this one, somebody is probably gonna die. <br />I remember going to see <span style="font-weight:bold;">Number Two</span> with my friends, we may have smoked some semi-legal cigarettes before going in, and we may have brought beers into the Wellfleet Cinema. (Note: One of the creators of Jackass and Executive Producer Trip Taylor is from Wellfleet.) I remember being simultaneously revolted, shocked, amazed and I, of course, laughed my ass off the entire time. Johnny Knoxville, who had been called a 'pretty boy, hollywood' type by skeptical fans, emerged as the bravest, most batshit insane of the bunch, and everyone else followed suit, upping the ante with each imbecilic prank or stunt. It was easily the best time I had at a movie in 2006, and probably ever. Jackass isn't for everyone, obviously, but even people who don't like it have to admit that these guys have created something that borders genius when it comes to moronic humor. They have taken stupidity to heights undreamed of. And I love them for it.DJ Mike Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00370211597248586221noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7786625613206249692.post-87096019221734933192009-12-25T23:00:00.001-08:002010-01-04T16:54:31.188-08:00Top Ten Movies of the Oughts: Number 102000 to 2009. A decade that I rank as pretty lame, as far as pop culture goes. 9-11, cell phones, the death of the recorded music industry, George Bush destroys the world, Friendster, Myspace, Facebook, Obama. That's basically it. For a cinephile, the past ten years make the 70s, 80s and early 90s look like an amazing golden age of amazingness, which they were. Amid the crappy remakes, CGI fueled brainlessness and nonstop plundering of past eras which were far more creatively fertile, there were some really, really good movies. Or at least movies I liked. Here's my list of the top ten, in installments. I promise I will finish this list by the end of this rad decade. <br /><br />10. <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0295700/">Wrong Turn</a> (2003). <br><br /><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_pcHBcPjvULqtJyIj1kB4_n6QU5gXkY-A8XT4fNy3MveqGbA3MugW0Oibyuj3RUvr-UTIEVHUncMikUySP0Ye6M34Bgpdo7-b3dCa5T50Zpa5NAUpSlMjADb32I3q7O1rA9_XPBMRR9mU/s400/wrong_turn.jpg"/> <br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Female lead Eliza Dushku is from Arlington, MA. The lighting in this movie strangely seems to highlight the area just below the nape of her neck and above the beginning of her tank top. The lighting technicians were either European or just rascals. </span><br><br /> Horror nerds and Rue Morgue Magazine subscribers (same thing) are no doubt turning their noses way up right now, but I'll tell you something. For you spoiled little pricks that just got into horror movies yesterday because the tranny you are dating likes them, there was a time when hardcore, gory, gritty, horror movies were a thing of the past. I've been a horror movie fan my entire life, and in the late 90s, early 00s, the genre was dead. I had no interest in the endless stream of lame teenie bopper horror films like <span style="font-weight:bold;">I Know What You Did The Last Time You Frosted Your Tips</span>, <span style="font-weight:bold;">Urban Blemish</span>, and so on. Basically every single 'horror movie' from 1997 until this one featured about 6 or so faces that would be recognizable to basic cable subscribers on the cover all in the same lame lineup. Lame. The whole idea of 'grindhouse, hardcore, gory, shocking' horror was completely missing from theatrically released films. I was "helping" my friends move out of our house on Logtown Road in Amherst, summer of 2003. I was mainly helping by going to Video Gallery in Belchertown (they had weird, crappy stuff that Video To Go didn't even have) everyday and renting 5 horror movies, then getting drunk and watching them with my friends at the house. Needless to say, we didn't get our security deposits back. I glanced at the free, weekly tome of effete bullshit (except for Jon Keane's old food column) which was "The Valley Advocate" and saw a review for something called <span style="font-weight:bold;">Wrong Turn</span>. Those snobby pricks gave it 1 star and said that it was a trashy, gore-filled, brainless backwoods slasher film that harkened back to the 80s and 70s. I showed it to my friends, and we immediately agreed that we needed to see it. Horror movies were so incredibly lame at this point in time that we were completely prepared to be let down. We made some mixed drinks, and just settled in to watch some crap. We were surprised. That movie kicked ass. Supremely gory, suspenseful, just cheesy enough but not intentionally cheesy.... I remember being really impressed with how irony-free this ridiculously gory and nasty film was. It really was the first American horror film that ushered in this "let's take it back to the 80s" movement. I feel that that trend has run its course, with everything down to <span style="font-weight:bold;">Nail Gun Massacre</span> getting a big budget, music video director remake these days. Not to mention all the wussy <span style="font-weight:bold;">Twilight</span> style crap out there. (I like <span style="font-weight:bold;">True Blood</span>, but that show is awesome and not wussy and lame at all.) On that August night, which does not feel like it was 6 and a half years ago, in the Hadley Mall, with a rum and coke in my hand, I had one of the most fun times I've ever had at a movie. Sneer all you want, horror nerds, but I love this movie, and it holds up really well. You can watch it today and its way better than many of the other 'throwback' horror films that followed in its wake. People love this movie, as well. Nobody I've ever shown it to for the first time has not liked it. Including people that thought it looked terrible.DJ Mike Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00370211597248586221noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7786625613206249692.post-17752671066420743182009-11-27T09:38:00.001-08:002009-11-27T12:59:10.354-08:00Top People Of The YearWell, the 2000s are over. This decade was kind of wack chaperone. But, there are still great people out there, trying their best to elevate mankind and make life better for us all, or just being awesome. Here is my list of the best people of 2009. <br /><br />Tommy Wiseau<br /><Img src="http://plumblines.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/2090259627_49e9d02942.jpg"/><br />Tommy Wiseau's self written, directed and starring first feature film, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Room_(film)">The Room</a> exists on a plane of terribleness that is nearly incomprehensible. This is, without a doubt, one of the worst movies ever made. Extraneous exterior shots that have nothing to do with the story, subplots that go nowhere, extremely terrible softcore love-making scenes with hideous R&B slow jams theme music, stilted dialog, horrible pacing, no linear logic, you name it, this film has it in spades. Just released commercially, the movie was made in 2003 for 6 MILLION dollars and comes across as a vanity project for this eyebrowless, monster looking weirdo. I don't know whether to applaud his misdirected audacity or just shudder in disgust, but either way, he has given me a movie I will no doubt watch countless times in my life. It comes across as an R rated Lifetime movie made by a retarded person. I want to thank Bridie Johnson and Abby Ruby for bringing this film to my apartment last weekend and changing my life. Tommy Wiseau, you are a freak, and I salute you and am simultaneously disgusted by you. Not too many people can illicit that strange blend of emotions in me, so you are a top person of 2009.<br /><br />Steven Seagal<br /><img src="http://www.variety.com/graphics/photos/Stylephile_storypics/Seagal_Feature.jpg"/><br />After a decade plus-long run as a box office action movie sensation, beginning with 1988's "Above The Law" and ending with 2001's "Exit Wounds", Seagal fell into the world of mostly horrible straight to DVD films. Releasing as many as 4 a year, the now older, overweight Seagal looked like he was bound to fall into low budget near-obscurity. Then, out of nowhere like a lightening fast Aikido kick to the nuts, he comes roaring back into the mainstream with his new reality show, "Steven Seagal: Lawman", which exists on a plane of awesomeness that is nearly incomprehensible. Seagal is a real New Orleans cop, and has been for 20 years. Who knew? Now we are treated to a television show that is basically like "Cops" times a million awesomeness points times Seagal, which equals infinity awesomeness. Plus 1. Basically Seagal is a top person of every year from 1988 to 2001, then he kind of fell off the list for a few years, except for 2005, when he released his first album, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Songs_from_the_Crystal_Cave">"Songs from the Crystal Cave"</a>, and 2004, when he released his own <a href="http://www.lightningdrink.com/">energy drink</a>... yeah, I think Seagal is pretty much permanently on my top people's list. <br /><br />Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim<br /><IMG Src="http://terminallaughter.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/tim-and-eric.jpg"/><br />Tim and Eric are an incredibly original comedy duo, and they just keep gettin better. Their influence is wide-spread, even Saturday Night Live has been biting their steez of late. They are the masters of just completely insane, maddening, sometimes extremely dark and disturbing humor. When I first saw the "Tim and Eric Awesome Show! Great Job." in 2007, I was so thankful that something this original, bizarre and wild was on television. Its a breath of fresh, disgusting air. 2009 saw the 4th season of this show's 11 minute long blast of humor episodes, and its just as insane and uncompromising as ever. They even had another member of my Top People list (Tommy Wiseau) guest-direct an episode. That's showing cajones right there. These guys are really to be commended for putting their wholly individual vision out there, as messed up as it is. They've been slowly but surely getting more and more popular, and they say the next season of T and E will be the last one, followed by movies and other projects. I can't wait to see what these mad geniuses do next.<br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/4Vq6-S_7a9U&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/4Vq6-S_7a9U&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />T-Baby<br /><img src="http://detroit.metromix.com/content_image/thumbnail/3x4/351/667991"/><br />T-Baby's amazing song and video "Its So Cold In The D" was apparently posted to youtube in 2008, but I discovered it in 2009, and I've had it stuck in my head for the entire year, so she gets to be on my Top People of 2009 list. The story behind the song is sad, its about one of her friends that got killed, but the song is so incredibly annoying/catchy that I am in awe of her. The video is incredible, the dance moves are amazing and the chorus of the song is one of the most simultaneously grating, catchy, annoying, offensive and heartfelt things I've ever heard. T-Baby, I wish your music career all the best, but I honestly don't think you'll ever be able to match the power/annoyingness of this song. <object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/aktLRiWXfqg&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/aktLRiWXfqg&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />That's all I can think of right now, and I want to eat a leftover turkey sandwich, so that's it for now. Happy Day After Thanksgiving, and I'll be adding to this list as I remember more Top People. Ciao.DJ Mike Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00370211597248586221noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7786625613206249692.post-71368380342412460762009-11-23T12:17:00.000-08:002009-11-23T12:19:21.249-08:00Michael Ian Black is wicked Smaht<img src="http://www.mediabistro.com/fishbowlny/original/michael_ian_black_cracked_fbny.jpg"><br />Michael Ian Black is wicked smaht. <a href="http://www.michaelianblack.net/blog/2009/11/foxy-lady.html">This is a cogent, irony free analysis of a public persona's Identity and the complete lack of meaning we are force-fed in pop-culture</a>. I bet dude was a Comm major.DJ Mike Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00370211597248586221noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7786625613206249692.post-66532860276576599372009-11-19T08:31:00.001-08:002009-11-19T13:40:49.990-08:00If You Aren't My Friend On Facebook, Let Me Tell You Something You Might Not Know Already: Steven Seagal: Lawman is The Best Show Ever.<IMG src="http://static1.cinemenu.com.br/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/steven-seagal-lawman.jpg">No, seriously. This show reaches levels of amazingness never even dreamed of by even hardcore Seagalogists like myself. <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Seagalogy-Study-Ass-Kicking-Steven-Seagal/dp/1845769279">Vern, you need to write another book.</a> Seagal has unleashed another level of awesome for us all. Basically, its <span style="font-style:italic;">Cops</span>, but with <span style="font-style:italic;">Steven Seagal</span>. "Big Deal," you might say, but have you given this any thought? Have you really pondered just how awesome that is? Well, if you haven't, let me tell you, its pretty awesome. Now you don't have to ponder. <br />In the late 80s, Seagal was filming a movie in New Orleans. The police of Jeffereson Parish asked him to teach them some self defense moves. They hit it off and made Seagal a deputy. Ever since, Seagal has made some classic movies, and tons of pretty bad straight to DVD movies (though I consider many of these classic as well), but the whole time, <span style="font-style:italic;">he was secretely a New Orleans cop!!!</span><br />So, basically, Seagal rolls around in an S.U.V wearing cool yellow sunglasses with his fellow cops in "The 'jects" (his words, not mine), busting criminals, being wicked awesome and saying things like "Aikido is the way of peace and harmony. What we are doing out here is bringing peace and harmony to these areas by removing the crime." (Might not be an exact quote, I watched the first episode last night and I was pretty drunk.) I think when I heard that, my mind was made up. Best show ever.<br />He doesn't beat people up, like you'd think, he's like a real cool cop. When the other cops are tazing the hell out of a suspect, Seagal stops them by yelling "Everyone just cool down!" And they stop tazing him. Awesome. On a domestic disturbance call, everyone winds up laughing and asking Seagal for his autograph. This plus sized older black lady keeps yelling "Get back here, Steven, I need you!" as he's leaving. She also shakes his hand and says "Damn! That's a big hand!" <br />The power of Seagalogy brings peace and harmony to very ugly situations. In some of his movies, Seagal talks with a southern accent, I always thought it was just him hamming it up, but it kind of makes sense now. I mean, he really is a New Orleans cop. <br />There's a scene in a police conference room where they are going over things to look out for, etc., before they go out for the night. Seagal is really studiously asking questions about suspects and taking notes and wearing eyeglasses. In a voiceover he says "Information is golden. The more we know, the better cops we will be." (Again, this is a wine-influenced memory of the quote, so it might not be exact. I know he said "Information is golden," which is awesome.)<br />Oh, and also he's an incredible handgunner and he teaches his fellow cops to use Aikido concentration techniques to shoot better. There were tons of awesome quotes during the gun training, and Seagal looked amazing with a towel wrapped around his neck and yellow safety glasses, peering down the barrel of one of his trademark 1911 .45's. <br />I'm Seagal's friend on Facebook, and he invited me to watch the sneak preview last night online. The show will premiere on December 2nd on A&E. If you don't watch it, you are doomed to never experience how awesome it is. <br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/99E16w0PxCA&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/99E16w0PxCA&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>DJ Mike Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00370211597248586221noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7786625613206249692.post-30762943102711390252009-11-18T11:37:00.000-08:002009-11-18T12:16:17.358-08:00Esham Puts Out Awesome Horror Album<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQjcspZpqzgnobW1SkBp-sNbffpFtpZ5cVfS1c-TNlDFG7VhHbNdSRJy4a69AgrY9trSsibDRtGSDwDtu579rxtqwFyOc3s1kFV7yWAATSxsHxvkle4n-AvwvF_94RaKocU1Zi02x1msy2/s400/Esham+-+Hellaween+Pure+Horror.jpg"><br />Esham, the rap kingpin of Detroit, isn't for everyone. The only other person as bizarre as he is in hip hop is probably<a href="http://fermentedfilm.blogspot.com/search/label/Kool%20Keith"> Kool Keith</a>, and Keith is probably even more bizarre, but they are very different. (Keith and Esham collaborated on Keith's classic album '<a href="http://www.rollingstone.com/artists/koolkeith/albums/album/118024/review/5944698/spankmaster">Spankmaster'</a>.) Esham is pretty straightforward, a straight gangsta rapper, but his natural eccentricity comes through on all his projects. The beats are on some other, other, other isht and Esham raps alot about demons, ghosts, evil spirits and so on. I haven't peeped too much of his stuff in recent years, mainly because he aligned himself with the ICP crew... though he recently made an <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7GieCyGHxQyX4TASYSoYsZd9AGmHsk57IxDB-B7OD5YE-4Rf6BImc_6H_ZRboSr_WDXLFhrdifQW_COPjk0Ocxh5h2eOXmmw0XnUS7AfaMLBfqbMWzCS-beeljqn7QK13z62c3DDm4oUt/s320/%5B2009%5D+Esham+-+I+Ain%27t+Cha+Homey.jpg">album dissing ICP </a>and distributed it at the Gathering of the Juggalos, which is pretty awesome and ballsy. ICP would be the first to admit that they wouldn't exist without Esham. I know to most people that probably makes Esham sound somewhat terrible by association. Esham's first album <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjm_kZaAHvR73Xz_-aqPx1IAqtxB34mZKzfbgu3MXnges1Irrp_Yg6DZ_6dH677DBf0ka8RusbAcumfCDS2P_ZEWMtoUd2Eh2IWKPr_Hri3Ymjrpqnto635hlLrVaX14WCjGhRh0jvh5vA/s320/www.underworld-rap.blogspot.com.jpg">"Boomin Words From Hell"</a> came out in 1990, when Esham was like 13 years old. I have it on cassette. You can't really blame him if some lame people were influenced by him. I mean, <a href="http://hotterthanmost.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/eminem-2.jpg">Eminem </a>was influenced by him. So, he was one of the very first 'Horrorcore' rappers, he's from <a href="http://www.time.com/time/photogallery/0,29307,1882089,00.html">Detroit</a>, one of the scariest places, period, and he has just released a horror concept album. Each track is about a different horror icon/theme and this has to be the only rap album to ever sample <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ichi_the_Killer">"Ichi The Killer"</a>. Its pretty obvious that I love it. Its pretty amazing. Who else besides Esham would make a rap song called "Attack Of the Blob", where he rhymes about being not only the blob, but a crime kingpin. Yeah, he's got the whole city covered, so he's the "Blah-blah-blah-blah-blah blob!"?! <br />Then there's a song called "Evil Dead", where one of Esham's boys with a wicked cool accent raps about being Ash and he takes it right from 'Evil Dead' through 'Army of Darkness'. <br />Then there's "Freddie Krueger" where someone named Dr. Hustle rhymes "I'm Freddie Krueger with a brand new Ruger/leave that ass stinkin like a pile of manure". Horror nerds would argue that Freddie would never just shoot someone, but I think that's a pretty good rhyme. <br />Then there's "The Invisible Man", which is, of course, about what the Invisible Man would do in a strip club. Seems like a wacky premise, but remember, Esham is from Detroit. This is a family oriented blog, so I won't go into some of the racier details, but a guy at the bar says "Yo, who just drank my drink?!" and Esham says "The Invisible Man!" Awesome. <br />This is a very entertaining horror-rap album. It kind of tries to be serious at the same time as being 'creepy', which might turn some people off, but for me it just kind of made it more fun. My favorite horror-rap album of all time is Kool Keith's turn as <a href="http://www.amoeba.com/dynamic-images/blog/2074218242_5ffeed4e30.jpg">Dr. Dooom: "First Come, First Served"</a>. Keith's brand of horror-rap is more like a totally over the top Troma movie, so out of control that it is impressive but doesn't actually scare you (although some of the tracks reach such a level of dementedness that they actually are pretty disturbing.) This is more like a gangsta guy that loves horror movies paying homage to the genre. Might not be for everyone, but I like it. If you like hardcore rap and horror movies, you'll probably like it too. <object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Q3s5uapp3_8&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Q3s5uapp3_8&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>DJ Mike Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00370211597248586221noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7786625613206249692.post-14849347655978369302009-11-17T15:16:00.000-08:002009-11-17T15:32:37.707-08:00A Movie About a 13 Year Old Boy with Male Pattern Baldness. What's Not To Like?<img src="http://crossroads-video.com/Image_Files/harold.jpg"><br />So, I have the Netflix thing going on now. (I'm late in the game, just joined like a month ago.) Its really cool because you can watch movies on your computer. Now before you accuse me of being some corporate shill for them, I will say that the selection of movies they have for instant viewing is pretty bizarre. Like, you can't watch <a href="http://yazmar.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/house-party1.jpg">this</a> but you can watch<a href="http://stallionbackups.co.uk/images/houseparty3.jpg"> this </a>. Or this movie <span style="font-weight:bold;">Harold</span>, a comedy about a 13 year old boy with male pattern baldness. He's bald, he's got bunions and he dresses like an old man. He moves to a new town and has trouble making friends. The movie is really not that funny, but there is just something so awesome about this premise that it kept me glued to the screen. Cuba Gooding Jr., continues his non-Oscar worthy material spree as a cool janitor that befriends Harold. Everyone in the movie thinks he's 'creepy'. <br />This is basically a kid's movie, but with lots of swearing, inappropriate humor and weird, gross sexuality. Its PG-13 but almost seems like it should be rated 'R'. So basically I liked it. If you have nothing better to do, its worth a peep. Tons of high-profile guest stars are in it as well, like Chris Parnell, Dave Attell, Rachel Dratch and Colin Quinn. Like I said, not amazing or anything, but definitely not a waste of time, either.DJ Mike Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00370211597248586221noreply@blogger.com1