Saturday, January 3, 2009

Santa's Slay, a new Christmas Classic

This film, which looks horrible with its crappy looking cover, is actually an incredibly fun, out of control way to spread a little yuletide FEAR. I give it my highest recommendation. Settle in with some friends around the yule log and try playing the Santa's Slay Drinking Game. The rules are: You have to drink every time:
1. There is a bad pun.
2. Santa kills someone.
3. Someone uses an improvised weapon.
4. Someone says "Ho ho ho."
5. Something blows up.

You will be hammered within the first half of the film if you play by these rules. That should be an indicator of how awesome this movie is. Basically, the story is that Santa is actually Satan's son, and he has been bound by a magic spell to be good for 1,000 years. (The spell was the result of a curling match between Santa and an angel.) Christmas 2005 marks the year when the spell is up, and he is free to be evil again. The opening scene is mind-blowing, with a family that includes James Caan, Fran Drescher, Kris Kattan, and Rebecca Gayheart having a Christmas dinner that gets interrupted by ole Saint Nick. The entire movie is incredible. Fast paced and hilarious, full of gore and violence and bad puns and sheer awesomeness. Bill Goldberg is great as evil Santa, and this film makes me want to see him in more movies. Hopefully in Santa's Slay Part 2. There is also some amazing original music, like the song that just goes "Santa Claus! Santa Claus!" and plays while Santa destroys a strip club. There is another song that just goes "Christmas time, Christmas time!" Oh, and there is an amazing rap song: "1 for the kids who like to get toys! 2 for the kids who like to make noise! 3 for Santa cause he rolls with elves..."
If I had my druthers, this movie would get played 24 hours a day on Christmas like "A Christmas Story". A must see.

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